September 27, 2025 2:37 AM
sleep
I'm standing in line at the neighborhood coffee shop, contemplating what drink to get. I want a latte, but I'm not sure if I should get it caffeinated or not. I like the taste of caffeinated coffee, but I was so uncomfortable trying to sleep last night and I don't want to have that same amount of trouble sleeping tonight. But is caffeine really the issue?
...I completely forgot to ask for decaf. Oh well. This latte is...okay. I got almond milk. It was a whole extra DOLLAR. Maybe I can try again with oat, but I'm not sure I like this latte all that much. It's like...weirdly burnt tasting. I kind of wish I got decaf. My mom talks about not eating certain things because it's a "waste of calories", and sometimes I think that certain things just aren't worth the caffeine intake.
_________________________________ | _______________________________ | || || || || || i'm trying out this tool || || called durdraw for making || || ascii art. still getting || ( || used to it, but it's pretty || ) ) || cool! || ( ( || || .-~~~~~~-. -------||_______________________________||-------:`~------~':-------- |_________________________________| : := \ ================================\ : : # \\__\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\__\\ : : # \\___\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\\____\\ : : == \\____\_\_\_\__________\\__\_____\\ :______: \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \____________========_____________\
I went to visit my dad's family a week ago, and overall it was a good time, but my sleep was all over the place. My sister and I took a redeye to get there, and I don't think I got more than two hours of sleep. I feel like I used to be able to sleep on planes, but now I'm lucky if I fall asleep during take off and stay asleep for even half an hour. My sister is dead asleep the whole flight. It took so much force just to wake her up when I needed to pee.
So we arrived at around 8am, and I may have taken one short nap during the day, but once it got to night time, I could barely keep my eyes open, and I fell asleep right after hitting the pillow and I probably slept for 10 straight hours. Honestly? It felt SO. GOOD. I don't really want to be sleep deprived, but man, sleeping feels so good when I'm sleep deprived.
The next night I couldn't sleep again. And I wasn't alone. As I was restlessly lying in bed, I could hear so many noises. People walking around, getting up to pee. I saw the glow of my aunt's phone in the middle of the night as she was looking at it. Is this how it normally is here? How do they stand it?
My uncle told me he has trouble sleeping too. He's thinking about everything he can think about and it keeps him up. He gave me some advice: count sheep. Man, I tried it. Maybe I'm bad at counting. I don't think I hit 100, but I also didn't fall asleep because counting seemed worse than just thinking about other things at night.
Luckily I was able to sleep better the third night. I guess that sleep deprivation was kicking in again.
As for right now, I'm sipping my apparently caffeinated latte. I have a little headache and my eyes feel tired. Maybe something changed in me once COVID started because the sleep problems always seem to come back. But at least being in the cafe is nice.
_ /( ) , |/ __! `=====' That's me with my laptop on my lap
August 7, 2025 7:22 PM
My year so far
Life is pretty good right now.
I think I had been a bit stressed out for a few months. I had to handle a never-ending stream of paperwork for my dad and aunts. I was worried about my finances and my relationship. I seemed to go on a lot of trips and it was getting to be too much for me. But after I got back from my family's annual vacation about a month ago, I've felt a lot more calm.
I've mentioned that I'm trying to cut back on caffeine. Being at home for our camping trip set me back a little bit, but since then I've been really good about not really having any caffeinated coffee, and I think my body feels better because of it. But honestly, I still really like coffee and in my ideal life, I'd be sipping on coffee all day. My non-dairy decaf iced coffees have been pretty good at satiating me though.
I started working on Teochew stuff again. I was worried about jumping back into it, but I think I needed it, for my own fulfillment. First it was just my own site, but now I'm part of the WhatTCSay web team! It honestly feels really good to work on a project that I care about. And it's nice to have a small team to work with again.
Of course that means my food blog has not been updated in a while. That's okay. I'll get back to it when the inspiration strikes. I have been cooking regularly, but I'm trying to not worry so much about always having food ready to eat. It's okay if I buy grocery store sushi or indulge in fun limited time offerings at Aldi.
I want to do more dance gaming and bouldering and crocheting and reading and exploring. I have so many ideas in my head, and I know I'll never have enough time to do everything. But I'm still choosing to take things as slow as I can, because it feels good to live life inefficiently.
July 1, 2025 7:57 PM
Pigeon and Elephant and Piggie, oh my!
I remember when one of my little cousins was very young and just learning to read, that he had the book Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems. I was probably in high school at the time, and after reading the book, I enjoyed it so much that I looked for every other Mo Willems book in the library and read them as well. I just love the art style and how much emotion that pigeon has. Even today, when I go into a bookstore or a library, I like to see if there are more pigeon books that I haven't read yet.
__ .' `. / .--. \ _' / (@\ : <._| \ __ / ! <.\ / `-.__,-' |___| |___| | | | | | |____________________ ' / ` \ `-_ / ' `. .' / `. `~~----~~' .' `-.___________.' | | | | | | /|\ /|\
Many years later, I was sitting in one of the rooms in my aunt's house and my 5 year old niece came in because she wanted to play. There happened to be a copy of There Is a Bird on Your Head! sitting on the dresser. I have no idea whose book this was, but I picked it up and started reading it to her. She spends a lot of time staring at her Kindle or a phone, but that night, somehow, I got her attention with a book. And mine as well! It's a pretty great book.
.-. ( * )=> `-' I thought about drawing an elephant, .--'' \ but that was way too hard. So here is `-..____) a tiny bird instead. LL
To this day, it's still my most cherished memory with her.
May 9, 2025 5:02 PM
Feeling intimidated
When I first started playing Pump it Up at the local arcade, I was really intimidated. There was a group of regulars that had probably been playing for years and they were really good. And I was basically just starting to learn the game. Even though I had played DDR a lot as a child, this was only my third or fourth time playing Pump it Up. But it was so much fun, and it made me want to get back into dance games.
Even though Wednesdays were the time to be at Dave n Busters for their half off deal, I decided to only go during off hours where I was guaranteed to not see another dance gamer. It was something about the fact that I wasn't completely new to the game, but everyone around me was so much better. I really felt like I needed to get better on my own before I could play around others.
But I wanted to. I wanted to be a part of this community. It was this impossible longing in the back of my mind for years. As a child, it felt like no one else liked DDR as much as I did, and I was finally meeting people with the same interests as me.
I realize that many people have a similar experience to mine. A lot of people played DDR as a kid, and then fell out of it when it seemed like DDR just stopped being popular in the US. I really thought the game was dead. I had no idea there were so many other people nearby that really liked dance games. I guess I wasn't looking hard enough!
After practicing on my own a bunch, I did get a little better at Pump it Up. And I eventually got over my initial fear and I now feel pretty comfortable around other dance gamers, even the ones that are super competitive. I think it helped to not try and focus on accuracy like many others do. I learned how to play doubles, and I embraced playing without the bar, and I found it way more fun. But I'll also play a set of singles next to someone, and I'm totally okay with struggling and flailing around while the other person gets a near perfect score.
March 14, 2025 3:18 AM
People watching
I walked outside at 2am today to look at the moon because, well, it's a clear night and these are the things I quit my job to be able to do. Not to specifically look at a lunar eclipse, but to just take advantage of a moment to stare at the sky late at night and not feel bad about it.
As I was walking, I saw someone climb out of their window and sit, probably to stare at the moon. I saw a few people standing at the neighborhood green space, probably staring at the moon. I saw a girl walk by me, and then I saw her walk back past me in the other direction, and I knew she wanted to look at the moon too. I later passed by her a third time, and she was leaning against a pole, looking up at the sky.
I looked up as well, but I kind of enjoy observing the people observing the sky more.
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