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May 4, 2026 2:13 AM

Spring

Why is it so COLD??!!

I was telling myself that it is MAY and I am NOT turning on the heat.

Well, I gave in.

So I meant to make a blog post about a month ago, but I just got so caught up with life stuff. I also managed to get sick again. Three times in the first half of the year, that's how you know I'm a bit stressed and overwhelmed.

We did officially announce What Teochew Say - the web app, and that went really well! And PGH Dance Game Space is now a 501(c)(3)! You would think I would just be excited and celebrating, but I immediately started looking at what needs to be done next and I really quickly felt overwhelmed again.

I've been doing a lot of reading about nonprofits and small businesses online. I've also been reading a lot about databases and the technology we use in our app. There is so much that I am unfamiliar with, and I do a lot of just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Researching makes me sleepy. Sometimes I just want to talk to someone that knows more than I do. But that's hard because I need to go find that someone and reach out to them and spend an hour figuring out the best way to ask a question, and then half the time I don't get a response back. And I feel bad about nudging people more even though I know that it's necessary to get answers.

I spend a lot of time and energy on things and I wonder if what I'm doing is worth it. Is it worth it to put all this effort into an email, an application, a relationship? I wanted to rent a new apartment and I needed to fill out a super long application, which included providing documents that had sensitive information that I needed to scrub out, and LibreOffice Draw kept crashing every time I tried to clear out information, but I still managed to finish this out two hours later, only to be told "Sorry, we went with someone else"

I feel like I've got a lot of things I want to vent about every single day, and sometimes it's hard to find a place to do that. So, I guess that's why I'm letting some of it out here.

I know I should do more for me. A week ago, I was at a friend's house for a board game night with some former co-workers. It was so good to see them. One of my friends asked me how my Teochew was going, and he talked about his own experiences in learning Cantonese.

I do want to keep updating my own sites. I realized it's really important to have something that is completely my own, where no one can tell me I need to do things a certain way, or to get things done in a certain amount of time. I know I've been prioritizing other things lately, and I've gotta prioritize me. But sometimes it's hard to even do that because I just feel tired.