May 4, 2022 11:34 PM
what I want
Last week, I went on a company sponsored vacation to San Diego. I honestly wasn't excited about it at all. Maybe a little anxious. I don't like travelling, and I just wanted to get it over with. We had "fun activities" that we signed up for, but they didn't really appeal to me. I didn't have to attend, but it just seemed like the socially acceptable thing to do.
When I got to the airport and walked over to the terminal, I saw several of my co-workers standing in a circle. They were getting on an earlier flight. I also passed by another co-worker to waved over to me, and I sat with him for a little bit as we waited for our boarding times. As the day went on, I saw more and more co-workers. When I finally arrived at the hotel in San Diego, I saw people that I hadn't seen in person in over two years. And a wave of energy just hit me. I rushed up to my hotel room, dropped off my stuff, quickly changed into shorts, and in less than ten minutes I was back downstairs in the hotel lobby, chatting it up with my co-workers.
Those three days in San Diego were absolutely exhausting, and I barely got any sleep. The food was decent, but nothing amazing. The activities were fine enough. But the people. The people made it absolutely worth it.
What I love about my job isn't the fact that I solve challenging problems and write code. It's the incredibly smart, interesting, and friendly people that I get to interact with. And I've known this for years, but the pandemic had largely taken that away. I'm glad I was reminded of it during this trip.
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In the old iteration(s) of this blog, around 2015-2018, I would always talk about my goals. I wanted to save money, to learn more, to be a more productive person. My life was centered around the things I wanted to accomplish. Lately, I've had a few conversations that have made me think about what I want in my life. Right now, I don't think I want to accomplish anything. I just want to do things that will make me happy.
- I want to let go of work
- I want to cook more
- I want to eat good food
- I want to go on long walks and explore
- I want to play lots and lots of dance games
But most importantly, I want to spend time with others. I could do all those things, but if I couldn't share my experiences with friends and family then it wouldn't make me happy at all.
Life is still kind of a mess right now, with lots of ups and downs. But I'm slowly getting out more, and reaching out to people more. It's way more effort than it used to be just to see people, but I'm going to try as hard as I can to make it happen.
May 24, 2022 11:33 PM
Hello from my new laptop
I can't believe I got this to work in one night.
June 5, 2022 6:23 PM
A Mundane Sunday
I've been wanting to blog more. I don't want to make that some sort of goal to reach, like "blog every so often" but I really just want to record more of the things that I've been doing--things that make me happy. Life has actually been pretty good lately. I usually get really really anxious as the summer is approaching, but it's pretty chill this year. Maybe that's because everyone in my family keeps getting COVID and we need to cancel plans. Maybe it's just a lot easier for me to make plans. I don't know.
I always like to come back to this blog post, Life is a Picture, But You Live in a Pixel. I'm trying to get away from thinking so much about wanting to retire, and more just trying to make each day a good one.
I went to the dentist earlier this week, and they told me that I had been doing a good job keeping my teeth clean. It was a much more pleasant experience than my very first visit at this dentist office seven years ago. (Yes, I still get excited for the free lip balm)
I also went to the Arts festival on Friday, and while I didn't get any free dental care products, I did get to speak to one of the artists who takes very nice photographs of Pittsburgh. I even have one of his prints hanging on my wall!
Yesterday I watched Everything, Everywhere, All at Once for the second time in theaters. I think this is the first time I've ever watched a movie twice in theaters. But it's a good movie! And even though I'm not a movie person, I think watching a movie can be a good way to spend time with others.
June 7, 2022 11:43 PM
Man, I just want to do everything
I want to play dance games, I want to cook lots of different meals, I want to go on more walks, I want to spend time with people--I know, I said this two posts ago. Too many things, not enough time in the day. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I can easily fill my days with things that I enjoy. I just have this eight hour chunk of my day taken up by work, so I can't do all the fun things in one day.
But I did cook tonight. I tried out a new pasta recipe that was good, but not good enough for me to make a food blog post about it. And I cleaned everything up, and it is such a good feeling to have all the dishes washed before going to bed.
Two days ago I went on a mostly uphill 2.5 mile run with Dan all the way to the Rita's water ice (and then another few miles back). I have no idea how fast I was going, but I was so tired, and at the end of it, Dan celebrated by doing a cute little victory dance for me. I did a similar uphill run to Rita's on my own several years ago, albeit a little shorter, because I really wanted to get water ice on the first day of spring. At the time, I don't think I knew anyone that would make that trek to get Rita's, so it makes me very happy that I do now.
June 11, 2022 3:32 PM
Adulting
I went into the office this past Thursday. I woke up half an hour earlier than I normally do, put on a dress, made myself coffee, packed my lunch, and walked to the bus stop. I was feeling like such an adult. And then right before I got to the actual stop, a bus flew right past me and I had to wait 15 more minutes until the next one showed up.
As I was sitting on the bus, I was thinking about what I should eat for breakfast because I almost always have breakfast (or else I get the shakes). I really didn't want a granola bar. How did I do this before? I've been eating breakfast regularly for many years, even when I was going to the office more.
...the eggs. Right. I would always microwave eggs for breakfast, but there's no way the admins are keeping the office stocked with eggs now.
So even though I'm trying to save more money and and even though I made my own coffee so I could skip my Starbucks run, I ended up going to Starbucks anyway for a breakfast sandwich. The person struggled to call out my name when my order was ready, so I looked at the label on the bag: "Kerstine". That's a new one.
By the time I got to the office, it was close to two hours since I woke up, and man, I used to do this commuting thing every work day and I know it didn't take this long before.
But, I got to the cafe and I saw my friend, and then two more of my friends showed up, and I remembered why I do this. In spite of the extra hours it takes, I want to keep going into the office, and I'm going to keep nudging my friends to join me.
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